Archive for the ‘black humor’ Category

Clean Your Colon DailyThe Way Nature Intended!
The Squatting Position to Eliminate is a Healthy Solution

Squatting to eliminate is healthier.  
We are hardly the first to feel strongly about this: doctors, naturopaths, and assorted holistic health professionals have pointed out the hazards of the modern toilet for years. This is not the superstitious distrust of all things modern or internet quackery that one occasionally comes across in the holistic world. There is empirical evidence that suggests that elevating your feet during elimination is healthier. The problem is our modern day toilets aren’t designed for squatting.
The Illustration above shows the difference in the anorectal angle when sitting versus squatting. When we sit to experience a bowel movement, we kink the pathway nature intended as a straight shot. 
What? Squatting doesn’t seem simple to you? Don’t worry. You’re not alone!

While some two-thirds of the world’s population squat to defecate, many in the developed Western world have never experienced this practice. And with good reason. Our toilets don’t allow for it!

Thanks to the ingenuity of the good folks at Squatty Potty, this problem is…well…no longer a problem. The Squatty Potty is a convenient, sturdy stool that makes squatting—completely or in a semi-squat seated position—simple and effective using your existing toilet. And when it’s not in use, it slides conveniently out of the way under your toilet.

Yes, you read that right, the Squatty Potty toilet stool fits discretely under your toilet, and serves to prop your feet up as you go to the bathroom. The process of creating the perfect toilet stool was challenging. Many prototypes were made until we designed a stool that is both attractive and functional.  Many of you have been propping your feet up on garbage cans, phone books and plastic boxes. But if you want a well built permanent contraption that helps you create an authentic squat posture the Squatty Potty is for YOU!

So, what’s your next step in improving your colon health? It’s your call.

If you’re new to the concept of colon health, some of the principles we’re sharing may seem foreign, or even hokey, to you. After all, a colon is just a place for feces to pass from our stomach to the toilet, right? Wrong!

Much of the nutrients our bodies get from the food we eat are absorbed through the colon, and when we have a build-up of wastes from all that junk we eat that doesn’t get properly flushed out, the ability for those nutrients to be absorbed is greatly diminished. And that’s just the beginning.

Our poor diets—high in starches, low in fiber, and woefully lacking in water content—not only create this build-up on our colon walls, but also result in hard stools that can’t easily pass. You’re familiar with this condition. It’s called constipation. Now, not only are we not getting the nutrients our bodies need, we have to push like there’s no tomorrow to poop. This causes yet another bad situation—hemorrhoids

Hemorrhoids are inflamed anal varicose veins that have swollen because of our need to push excessively to get those hard stools to pass. Whew! It’s just getting worse, isn’t it?

Before we leave this line of thought, we need to address one of the potential outcomes of all this abuse to our systems—colon cancer. Yep, studies have shown that a contributor to colon cancer is the lingering wastes that could have been flushed through with a little care and management. The bottom line (no pun intended) is this: The more readily fecal matter moves through our colon and gets excreted, the better off we are.

So diet plays a significant role in good colon health and avoiding the discomfort of hemorrhoids and other ill effects. Got it. Is that it? Nope.

Believe it or not, one of the simplest things we can all do to maintain proper colon health is squat when we eliminateNo joke!

Since we were small, our mothers told us to stop that potty talk. Sorry, Mom. As it turns out, potty talk can make our lives better.

There are many health benefits to squatting when nature calls: 
more complete evacuation of wastes, 
less pressure on veins, 
increased ability to absorb nutrients (resulting in greater energy levels), 
just to name a few. 

Squatting helps us avoid painful hemorrhoids, reduces the time required to do our business, and has even been cited in medical studies as an activity that can help reduce the risk of colon cancer. So much benefit in such a simple change of habit!

“The ideal posture for [voiding] is the squatting position, with the thighs flexed upon the abdomen. In this way the capacity of the abdominal cavity is greatly diminished and intra-abdominal pressure is increased, thus encouraging expulsion” – Dr. Henry L. Bockus (Bockus, H.L., Gastro-Enterology, (Philadelphia: W.B. Saunders Co., 1944), Vol. 2, p. 469 )
“The design of the modern-day toilet was created with absolute disregard for the anatomy of the human body. On the conventional Western toilet, pressure is exerted inside the abdomen by pushing the diaphragm down in such a way as to push all the organs of the body downwards, causing them to sag (prolapsus), and creating dysfunction of the ileocecal valve. The abdominal muscles are left totally unsupported, as we have said, and the body suffers the consequences.” – Dr. William Welles, chiropractor


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# How do they serve drinks on Italian cruise ships? –

On the rocks
# What vegetables do you get with dinner on Italian cruise ships? – Leeks

# What’s the fastest way to get off an Italian cruise ship? – Follow the captain

# When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew where he was going he replied “off course.”

# So the captain of the Costa Concordia will soon be in the dock. That’s more than can be said for his ship.

# The captain says he is not guilty of manslaughter. He has witnesses to prove he was nowhere near the passengers who died.

# I like my women how I like my Italian Cruises. Wet, wrecked and ready to go down.

# The Costa Concordia is probably the most expensive thing to go down in Italy since Berlusconi’s last hooker.

# What’s the difference between the Italian economy and the stricken cruise liner Costa Concordia?

Nothing – The bottoms dropped out of both.

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$3,000 a year for condoms?

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From Whitney Houston’s private collection

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h/t SouthernBelleBarbie

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Once you hit the white powder it’s all down hill from there.

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